Listening: How to listen meaningfully

Why is it important?
As HR professionals, we all like to think that we have the human touch and communicate well. But numerous studies highlight the faulty communication processes that exist between employees and managers.

A quarter of all workers quizzed for a recent Investors in People survey complained that their managers take little or no notice of their views and fail to consult them when making decisions. While one in 20 consider their manager lacks the skills to communicate effectively.

Meaningful listening is integral to the successful interchange of ideas and to gain insight into the emotions behind a message. It is also critical to business success. Some of us are natural good listeners, but effective listening skills can be acquired.

Prepare yourself
Meaningful listening isn't easy and it isn't something that you can passively sit back and do - it is an active process. Make sure that you are both ready to listen and pay attention. If you are intending to hold a conversation with a colleague about something specific, find a quiet room, remove all distractions and minimise the potential for interruptions. Clear your mind of any other hassles.

In everyday discussion scenarios, be sure to focus on individuals when they talk to you. Avoid performing other activities, such as checking your inbox while they are talking. Demonstrate they have your full and undivided attention: maintain eye contact and an open and welcoming tone. Try not to finish their sentences and never talk over them.

Suspend judgement
Refrain from being judgemental or anticipating what the other person is going to say. This can lead to inappropriate responses or reactions and will immediately expose you as a poor listener. Remain neutral and endeavour to be open and receptive to the message. Ask questions based on what you've heard - it shows you're listening and prompts further discussion and clarification. Avoid responding with statements you think they want to hear or that don't lead anywhere.

Engage your senses
Using all of your senses combined is key to picking up on the non-verbal messages being transmitted. It is possible to detect a great deal about how the person feels and the impact of your words from sensing their tone, pitch, inflections, breathing and even the rate at which they speak. Be alert to body language, such as crossed arms or legs, or whether the person is leaning towards or away from you.

"We need to put ourselves to one side, to not listen for what we want to hear but instead for what the other person wants us to know and understand," says Diane Hodgson, director of management develop-ment at JSB Training and Develop-ment. "Meaningful listening means much more than staying quiet."

Also bear in mind what your own body language and gestures are communicating.

Read and listen between the lines
As well as being attuned to the actual content of what is being said, tune into the emotional content, so you can read between the lines and assess what the person needs you to understand most. They may be unable to directly speak about what's on their mind so it is down to you to gently draw this information out through asking open questions.

"[You] need to be able to quickly assess the level of listening required, from simply hearing and taking information through to interactive listening, where we offer our undivided attention and seek to understand what is being said verbally and non-verbally, clearly and not," says Hodgson.

Cultivate relationships
Everyone is different and the better you know your staff and colleagues, the easier it will be to read them and pick up on their signals.
Remember that good listening doesn't just begin and end in meetings or one-to-ones, there is a continuous need for it in every office environment and situation.

Where can I get more info?
Book: Listening Skills, Ian MacKay, Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, 6.99, ISBN 0852927541

Related articles: How to... develop your influencing skills, www.personneltoday.com/27609.article

If you only do five things...

• Assess the level of listening required
• Don't leap to conclusions or negative assumptions
• Ask open-ended questions
• Practise detailed observation
• Read between the lines