How to find a mentor

Why is it important?

Research shows that mentoring relationships can be instrumental in career success. Mentors provide advice and guidance, help instil confidence and offer reassurance, as well as link their mentee to a network of contacts that will be useful throughout their career.

It is possible to have more than one mentor at any one time and many people have several mentors during their career. The key is finding the right person to meet your needs. Some organisations have formalised the process of mentoring, while many individuals find their mentors by luck, rather than careful planning. But even if your company does have formal procedures in place, you still need to play an active part in finding the right one to help navigate your career.

Where do I start?

The type of guidance you need will determine where your mentor should come from. There are four main areas: a person from within your own function or department who understands the skills required for the job; someone from outside your own department such as an individual in the function where you aspire to be; a mentor outside your organisation who can act as a neutral sounding board and typically has a track record in coaching and mentoring; or someone from your social or family circle who can help address personal issues as well as career-related ones.

What traits must I look for?

Envisaging where you want your career to go over the coming years will help identify specific skills-based traits, but equally important is trust, commitment and being able to build a rapport.

This is usually established when you have common beliefs and value sets, as well as many things in common, particularly hobbies and interests. Mentors should also have good social skills, be popular and well-networked.

"It helps if the mentor is highly-motivated with a high degree of self-belief, as this can infuse the mentee with similar qualities," says Fraser Murray, senior consultant at Fairplace, specialists in career and talent management. "Try to find someone who is a 'glass half-full' rather than a 'glass half-empty' type of person."

Should I ask for help?

Fellow HR professionals and colleagues can provide input and make suggestions, but Murray stresses that the relationship is more likely to work when the mentor is selected by the mentee rather than 'paired up from a list'.

"Nobody can assess the rapport and the desirable characteristics as well as you can," he says. "Many mentees meet their prospective mentors for an initial chat, perhaps over a coffee. If the relationship feels right, it will probably work."

What else do I need to be aware of?

Choose a mentor you know will challenge and support you. If you feel your mentor is simply dishing out advice based on their own experience, it probably means the relationship isn't right.

The mentor's role is to question, enlighten and guide you to make up your own mind about things. In doing so, you will become independent and strong rather than dependent on the mentor.

How should I develop the relationship?

Meet regularly, at least a couple of times in the first month. Choose an informal setting like a coffee shop or restaurant, suggests Murray, as a degree of professional informality can make mentoring more effective.

There will be times though when it might be appropriate to book a confidential meeting room, perhaps when the issue to be discussed is particularly sensitive.

Once a rapport is established, meeting every six to eight weeks is a good average, although when there is a crisis, it may be wise to meet more often.

"Even if things are going extremely well, it would be advisable to touch base at least every three months as a minimum, otherwise your rapport may diminish slightly and the relationship might not be strong enough when you find that eventually you really need to call on that person for support," says Murray.

Expert's view on finding a good mentor

Fraser Murray, senior talent consultant, Fairplace

Is there a stage of your career when you should definitely have a mentor?

There is no set time for an individual to have a mentor. Mentoring can provide an effective sounding board for career guidance, as well as for issues relating to your current role.

In some cases, individuals chat through issues in their personal life (such as work-life balance) with their mentors, so it is not just about career development.

The stronger the rapport, the stronger the relationship and, in most cases, the more likely the individual is to discuss more personal job and life issues with their mentor.

Are there any new theories on having a mentor?

There have been some interesting developments around the matching process. We know that in addition to the desired knowledge and outcomes, mentees should consider the level of rapport they have with a prospective mentor. It is now rare for names to simply be paired from lists of mentors and mentees.

Fairplace has pioneered 'speed matching', where a group of mentees mix with a group of potential mentors over a drink and discuss their needs and build rapport. Where there's a match, the pair begin their mentoring relationship soon after.

This technique improves the likelihood of an ideal match and means the relationship should last longer than the first couple of meetings. This is where many previous relationships have started to fizzle out, having never really got off the ground.

Do you have mentors and, if yes, how do you use them?

I have had mentors on and off for more than 20 years and even at the age of 42, I still have two mentors. I hope to continue to have mentors when I'm well into my 60s, as the benefits can cover a range of the critical aspects in my career and in my life.

If you only do 5 things

1 Think strategically about what you want from a mentor.
2 Choose someone with a different work style to your own.
3 Establish what you want to achieve together.
4 Make sure they genuinely care about you.
5 Be willing to reciprocate.