Yes - its a spoof -before I get any calls/comments from dog lovers and equalities people.......any unions - relax its just a joke!
But recent news regarding dog owners who will be able to track their missing pets got me thinking with the potential applications in the field of management.........
Just think all employees could be fitted with these to enable management to track their employee daily movements (actually certain technology applied already allows them to do this with ID passes - what you didn't know?).
Even better - why not for managers - as you can track their daily movement around their desk....
If you're in field sales - no chance of detouring...........
And in HR we can see if those back-to-back meetings are really happening?
Those who feign illness would have to remain pretty stationary just as if they are ill....
Of course for those who are engaged in office romances (where allowed) be a careful of that stationary cupboard - it could be a giveaway!
And just think the trips to the loo could be a predictive indicator of somebody's lack of engagement - I'm sure some factor analysis could be applied to correlate the data. It could be called 'bogstandard factor' to give it an air of authority.
Then there are the awards:
The 'Best' dog-collar (whatever 'best' means - you could also have a published rankings table)
The 'Most talented' dog-collar (which can provide 'self improvement' instruction whilst being worn)
The 'Best-outsourced' dog-collar award (where somebody else wears it for you and gets shafted)
The 'Best-designed bio-degradable' dog-collar preventing climate change (but needs to be replaced every 24 hours)
The 'Most improved' dog-collar (where it actually works 24/7)
The 'Sustainable' dog-collar (that just lasts longer)
And finally (my favourite)
The 'Management tom-tom' award for helping poor managers with directive decision-making where required (turn left, turn right, enter ceo office, give P45...etc etc) - just think of the saving on coaching costs!
A whole industry in itself!!!!!
But perhaps one of the greatest applications could be applying the dog collars to computer disks with confidential data - just think of the collective sigh of relief as if they still go missing at least the blame can be shifted to the technology rather than simple crap management!.........
Have a good day!
