Archive | February, 2007

Toilet Roll

The great toilet debate

Unlike the Queen, Guru does occasionally need a ‘comfort break’. And he finds that it’s always better to go for a ‘number 2′ at work, rather than at home, for a number of reasons relating to personal cost and convenience: 1) Rolling in it. If you multiply an average six-sheet wipe by 230 working days […]
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Rude Carrot

Brain food

Guru has always been led to believe that simply eating a ‘nice bit of fish’ every now and again would help to nourish his not-inconsiderable brain. And that the odd carrot would help him see in the dark – is this one odd enough? But gourmet chef Matthew Bee (a contemporary of the spikey-haired, check-trousered […]
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Get thee to a nunnery

Ever on the look out for examples of the ‘Disappearing World of Work‘ – soon to be a David Attenborough-like foray into the gaps left by those endangered species who find their occupations washed up on the shelf of unwanted contributions to society – Guru was alerted by disciple Diane to the plight of the […]
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Jog your conscience and sponsor our runners

This is the final week that Guru can accept corporate sponsorship for the Personnel Today teams’ entry into the Osborne Clarke Business Challenge, part of the Asics Reading Half Marathon, which takes place on 25 March. Corporate sponsors that pledge £25 or more will have their logos displayed on the eight runners’ athletic attire. So […]
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HR Pufnstuf

Win classic TV Pufnstuf by sharing your fluff

Guru was recently reminded of a 1960s children’s TV show that should have great resonance for all personnel professionals. It featured a young boy called Jimmy (played by Jack Wild of Artful Dodger fame), who was kidnapped by the evil witch Witchiepoo. The eponymous dragon who came to the rescue was – altogether now, you […]
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Bailiffs crash through the door of multiculturalism

The role of the bailiff is both necessary and noble. In these days of high personal debt, we need menacing bouncer-types to remind perpetual borrowers that there are limits to the never-never. A loud knock, a foot in the door and the refusal to leave until the debt has been settled are the unmistakeable trademarks […]
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If the cap fits…

As a loyal columnist of the unparalleled Personnel Today, Guru finds it hard to resist the temptation to point out the failings of the publication’s rival magazines. Common wisdom suggests it is poor form to belittle your competitors. But Guru rejects anything common (common good, common decency, common people etc), so here goes… Guru has […]
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Tony Blair frees up troops for football specials

Guru was pleased to hear the announcement that Mr Blair is to bring some of our boys home from Iraq, as it comes just in time to convince Network Rail of the need for the return of the ‘Football Special’ train service. Yours truly is not only concerned about this from a personal Not-In-My-Carriage-Yobs! kind […]
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10 Downing Street

Blah blah Blair

Guru was an original signatory to the anti-road-pricing petition on the 10 Downing Street website. Can you imagine the costs Guru would incur on his fleet of Jaguars, Bentleys and all the other automotive exotica stored in his temperature controlled museum/garage? The idea of having some black box under the bonnet tracking Guru’s every movement […]
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So you had a BAd day…

Which high-profile HR director (no longer in the post) sat stony-faced, staring out the window during a Q&A at a recent networking event as one of his peers (who obviously hadn’t studied the guest list) suggested his former HR department was poorly managed? Here’s a clue – he looked more than a little cross. Even […]
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