March 7, 2007
News reaches Gurus slender lugholes that the fat people of the world can't help it.
Apparently, the morbidly obese are the huge beasts that they are because their brains aren't alerting them to the fact that they are fat.
According to a report in London's Metro daily newspaper, a US researcher claims that "Obesity is not a failure of will power, it is a biological failure'. Fat chance.
Guru suspects this is something more than just a little porkie. More likely its a super-size pork pie of a fabrication, being spread around (liberally on five slices of white bread with a small side salad of chips and deep fried onion rings) by a terrible tubby scientist with too much time on his hands and too much food on his plate, no doubt.
Yours truly suggests that any fatties out there, ready to leap on this hair-brained theory (and no doubt crush it into a very flat pancake that they can then consume with a heavy sprinkle of sugar and tomato ketchup) nip out to the shops and purchase the acme fat detector. These revolutionary devices come in all shapes and sizes, even big enough for the lardiest tubster.
To help any of the slow-witted chubbies out there unfamiliar with the acme fat detector Guru is happy to reveal the common name of this most effective of inventions: it's called a mirror. One glance twice a day should cure all delusions of thindom.
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