March 1, 2007
Guru is pleased to see that the slovenly souls that inhabit the non-British land that is Peru, have finally seen sense and are attempting to emulate us Brits - albeit a couple of hundred years or so late.
For despite having been given the gift of the timepiece centuries ago, it seems our cousins in the Northern Andes have not yet got to grips with the idea of work-life balance, doggedly sticking to a life-life balance wherever possible.
For while the rest of the world has been watching the clock for centuries, it seems the average Peruvian is so lazy, they award themselves a four-day weekend - Friday counts as 'little Saturday' and Monday is 'small Sunday' - and never turn up to anything on time unless it's football-related (think Machu Picchu, which was only found after a rumour went about that it was an ancient football pitch) or involves popping down to the local church to imbibe a touch of God's blood.
However, in just a matter of hours, at one o'clock precisely (it says here) La hora sin demora (time without delay) when Peru's 27 million inhabitants will be expected to sychronise their watches.
As the clock strikes Juan, the country will be livened up with the clanging of church bells, a ringing of sirens and a blasting of cannons, thereby ending decades of hora peruana (like manana only later).
Ever the realist, Guru doubts if anyone will turn up on time to ring the bells, however, and can see some merit in the Peruvians' tardaceous approach to living - regularly adopting such tactics himself, especially after a night on the vinas casas.
Of course, Britain didn't become Great by sleeping on the job, a point acknowledged across Peru, where they regard anyone who turns up within 15 minutes of an agreed appointment as keeping hora inglesas - whether this is meant as a compliment or gratuitous abuse is difficult to ascertain as nobody was available to answer Guru's polite enquiry.
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