Guru

Are you an human resources giraffe or a human resources gorilla?

Personnel Today's HR Directors Club held a networking dinner at London Zoo yesterday evening.

Guru got there early and spent a pleasant half hour visiting the inmates, and started thinking about which animals are most like HR professionals.

He settled on giraffes and gorillas.

HR giraffes can rise above it all. They take a treetop view of any situation and choose solutions beyond the reach of their colleagues. Elegant and graceful, they can nonetheless deliver a hard kick if forced to defend themselves.
They are thick-skinned with a particularly tough mouth and tongue, and can withstand sharp thorns.
They also have a big heart (10kg) - necessary to ensure a good blood supply to the brain.
Giraffes are always on the look-out for predators and sleep for short periods. They tend to operate in shifts, so one can go about its business while the other looks out for danger.
Drawbacks: Sometimes they find it uncomfortable to come down to other people's level.

HR gorillas are impressive beasts, but beyond their threatening demeanor they are gentle giants. They are highly intelligent and can manage complex social interativity and detailed communication.
They grunt, cough and hoot and use exaggerated facial expressions and body postures. They also beat their chests with cupped hands and can charge for a short distance on two legs.
The silverback mediates conflicts between group members, and is responsible for the safety of the group.
Drawbacks: They can drag their knuckles and show an unhealthy interest in their own mess.

So which are you?