Guru

The human resources jokes just keep on coming.

Guru's plea for HR funnies was met with some decent personnel jokes first time round.

And that seems to have inspired disciple Colin to submit three more of his personal favourites:

Tea and sympathy

HR manager to interviewee: "Can you make a good cup of tea?"

Interviewee: "Oh yes. I make a very tasty cup of tea."

HR Manager: "Can you drive a fork lift truck?"

Interviewee: "Bloody hell! How big's the tea pot?"

Designs on deity

What's the difference between God and a HR manager?

God doesn't think he's an HR manager!

Monkey business

The zookeeper told the human resources manager that the female gorilla was on heat, but as they had no male gorillas they needed to employ someone to have sex with her.

The HR manager duly placed an advert and subsequently interviewed the only respondant.

The HR manager confirmed: "Our Gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with her. Would you consider having sex with her for £500?"

"Well," said the applicant, "I will on three conditions. First: I don't have to kiss her. Second: my family and friends must never get to know. And third: can you give me a couple of weeks to get the cash together?"