Guru

Some nice work by Disciple Natalie over at the Work Clinic blog, who has found the web's definitive Work Nickname Generator.

If you ever wondered what your colleagues call you behind your back, this amazing piece of software will let you know.

Yours Truly entered HR Guru into the nickname generator and discovered that he is known as "stinky" by his colleagues. Perhaps at 4.30am on a Sunday morning, but otherwise unfair.

Some of Guru's colleagues on Personnel Today fared just as badly. Three of the fellows are "Bitch", "Sugar Plum" and "Queen". And the girls are "Ugly", "Cheap" and "Sir Drink-a-lot". This nickname generator is unerringly accurate!

But the strangest thing is, that although no one can recall these nicknames ever having been used previously, they've really established themselves since the team used the nickname generator.

Steve Miller, The Work Clinic's resident expert, advises:

Nicknames are part and parcel of business life. However, common sense must be used when addressing colleagues at work. If someone is introduced as Steven then one must assume that is what they want to be called, unless otherwise stated. If you want to shorten it to Steve, then have the decency to ask if it is OK to call them that.

Now when it comes to calling someone something that isn't related to their name, such as shorty, queeny or Cinderella, then I wouldn't tolerate any of that unless the person being called the name has asked their colleagues to do so.

It's an office nickname minefield out there, people. Careful how you tread. Especially you, Spotty.