Guru

Pyramid schemes and chain letters have suffered a bad press, as if they are some kind of scam.

But thanks to Disciple Andy, Guru can bring you exclusive details of a pyramid scheme that apparently, definitely does work!

Simply send this message by e-mail to nine of your (male) friends. To avoid accusations of mysogeny or sexism, Guru suggests that this might also work for ladies who want to trade in their boyfriends/husbands.

PYRAMID SCHEME INSTRUCTIONS Anaesthetise your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post. Statistically, among those women, there will be at least: 0.5 Miss Worlds; 2.5 models; 463 nymphomaniacs; 3,234 'perfect 10s'; 20,198 who enjoy multiple orgasms; and 40,198 swingers. In total, that is 64,294 women who are better looking and less inhibited than the woman you posted off. And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.

WARNING! DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER

One bloke, for example, who sent the letter to only five instead of nine of his friends got his original wife back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the usual accusatorial expression on her face.

The bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL

This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying love life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy, trivial conversations. No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no constant demands of engagement and marriage.

Do not hesitate .. send this letter to nine of your best friends today!