October 24, 2007
After all this talk of Blue Cards and Green Cards, Guru is today announcing a consultation on his very own Red Card scheme.
The European Commission (EC) yesterday unveiled plans for an EU-wide Blue Card visa similar to the US Green Card.
This would allow workers from outside the EU to work in all member states. Guru would like to launch a scheme that permits him to ban all workers from member states - his Red Card.
This Red Card would be issued to any employee that Guru personally felt deserved, for whatever reason, to be ejected from the EU. In fact, the exclusion zone may be extended to much of the known universe.
Crimes worthy of a Red Card would include whining about your colleague earning more than you, taking sick days for more than two different ailments in one year, listening to heavy metal music on poor quality headphones in the lift, not offering your colleagues tea when you make it and several other misdemeanours to be announced when they come into Guru's mind.
There will be an appeals process, of course - but it will be overseen by Guru.
The consultation period will last for 90 days, after which all comments will be discarded and the Red Card scheme will launch regardless.
Comments (2)
Positively brilliant!
Posted by HRWench | October 24, 2007 9:27 PM
Posted on October 24, 2007 21:27
It should also include:
Talking loudly on the phone about your social life.
Having a baby-on-board sticker in the back window of your company car.
Bringing your baby into work while still on maternity leave, leading to gatherings of cooing women and large-scale disruption.
Copying emails with huge file-attachments to vast numbers of people, just for information.
Whinging about how many emails you have to answer each day.
Leaving your mobile with the annoying ring tone on the desk while you go to the coffee machine and gossip with your mates.
Booking up your diary wih loads of appointments, so that you appear important and no-one can get to see you for the next three months.
Getting yourself invited to every meeting in the building, regardless of what they are about, so that you appear important and no-one can get to see you for the next three months.
I could go on.....
Posted by Rick | October 25, 2007 4:21 PM
Posted on October 25, 2007 16:21