Guru

invade personal space on a daily basis – a kind of live ‘in-your-FaceBok’, if you like – thereby making it only natural they should carry this tendency over onto the rugby pitch.

Guru has often found himself toe to toe with members of the South African softball contingent in London’s Regents Park – and, it must be said, in the pub afterwards – where the Afrikaans habit of standing far too close during conversations can prove somewhat irksome to the more reserved inhabitants of the planet.

Yours Truly has given this social faux pas some thought and can only surmise that its on account of hearing loss induced by loud voices – no doubt inspired by the roar of the lions and the trumpeting of elephants - and poor eyesight brought on by spending far too long in the sun.

On one occasion, this unfortunate tendency spilled over into the Guru workplace when one of the more arrogant of his softball compatriots turned up for an interview, chewing dried meat and wearing a very loud shirt, flip flops and a cowboy hat.

Considering the interview included the CEO of a major publishing company Guru was actually quite impressed with this display. Needless to say, the vertically challenged, wedded-to-his-sparkly-Eighties-suit bossman was not, and the Bok did not get the job.

That bossman ruling neatly links to the world of football where the Bosman Ruling means players can go where they like at the end of their contracts.

One contract that should be brought to an early end is that of Steve McClaren, the lamentable ‘boss’ man of the England football team, who should be allowed to go where he likes very soon – as long as it’s nowhere near Wembley.

Somehow he managed to uninspire his winning team into capitulating to the Russians by not invading the their personal space, sitting back far too much and generally not playing very well. Now he's all confused.

Guru is sure the England rugby players won’t be such pushovers and is confident they will give the Bokkers a taste of their own medicine… man.