October 9, 2007
News has reached Guru from his Eastern European contact - the one he meets on a bench in Hyde Park reading a day old copy of the Times and wearing a mac and bowler hat - that towns in north-west Bulgaria are suffering a policeman shortage.
Guru briefly considered catching a Ryanair flight to Sofia to go on the loot, but realised that hordes of Englishmen had probably already done that in the name of a stag do. So instead Yours Truly enquired as to what had caused this drought of law enforcers.
Was it fear of tackling drunk Cockneys after the pubs shut? A wave of migration away from the towns to their new EU sister countries? Sharp increases in the price of doughnuts? Apparently none of the above.
Apparently, the problem is not a shortage of applicants but the fact that only 10% of applicants are passing the force's standard IQ test - said to be aimed at the level of primary-school children.
Regional police chief Svetli Petkov revealed that many prospective policemen had failed even to spell simple words like ‘happiness’ or ‘curb’ correctly. He added that, in a recent round of IQ tests, only three candidates out of 150 had passed the test.
The poor pass rate has been put down to the vast majority of applicants coming from poorly-educated, local Gypsy communities.
Petkov said: "In order to get to the IQ test, candidates first have to pass a physical test, but about 50 per cent fail it. That leaves us with well-built and muscular boys who, unfortunately, can't spell."
Perhaps the UK police force could consider an exchange programme. From Guru's experience, the set-up over here is pretty much the opposite.
