Guru

“The skills that made Ginger Baker, Keith Moon and Phil Collins rock legends are now being employed to help businesses unlock the creative talents of their staff,” according to Innerbeat.

Apparently the firm has been leading ‘drumming sessions’ with BP and Allen & Overy among others to “reinforce training messages”. That would work well, Guru should imagine, as long as the training message being reinforced is ‘don’t bang drums when people are trying to work or you will get your face punched’.

Seriously! What is next? Liam Gallagher swaggering into the induction room smoking a fag and trying to fight everyone while they are learning about the company’s core people values? ‘Fiddy’ Cent popping some caps in some asses while employees are taught intermediary IT skills?

Innerbeat director Simon Botham said: “Drummers are seen as cool, free spirited individuals so it might seem unusual to be using percussion and related techniques in a more prescribed, business environment.”

No, Simon, not at all - do continue.

"More than ever before, businesses need to be creative to stay ahead of the competition. Drumming is not only great fun, while at the same time amplifying the messages of any training programme, it helps stimulate the mind to develop clarity of thought, enhances problem solving , and can unleash the creative talent which is inherent in us all.”

Guru feels like unleashing his creative talent on Simon Botham – only the thought of another night in police custody is restraining him.