January 21, 2008
Honest, hard-working takeaway workers everywhere will have been dismayed to read the interview with home secretary Jacqui Smith in yesterday's Sunday Times.
Kebab-shop employees have probably not been dealt as harsh a blow since Jade Goody referred to her genetalia as one of their fine meaty snacks in the Big Brother house.
Smith, for her part, did little wrong, merely telling the newspaper that she would be a little hesitant to walk through Hackney alone at night. However, worried that this could lead to negative headlines, an 'aide' phoned the journalist to point out that the Home Secretary had recently bought a late-night kebab in Peckham.
Anyone who remembers the 'Jeremy Clarkson effect' that saw denim sales plummet after the middle-aged, middle-class, middle-of-the-road TV presenter started wearing jeans, will be prepared for the 'Smith slump' about to hit purveyors of kebabs.
Guru can only imagine the queues outside Abra-kebabra dissolving as news spreads that meat donners with salad and chilli sauce are now the staple diet of cabinet members. What self-respecting drunk yoof will eat kebabs now? Sales will plummet, and jobs will be lost quicker than a couple of discs containg child support details.
All this is good news for HR professionals at rival fast-food chains, and they should be quick to capatalise on the recruitment and retention benefits of selling food still cool enough to be shunned by politicians.
Guru is off for a Burger King before Gordon Brown has a romantic meal there with his wife.
