January 30, 2008
The uproar over the strangely un-Tory looking Tory Derek Conway whose recruitment policy consisted of co-opting members of his family to do his bidding has led to a raft of job losses at Conway plc, after he announced he would not fight at the next general election.
Yet there is some strange and beautiful logic to using 'the family' to do all the work – as the Mafia and the Queen will no doubt testify.
After all, why pay some unknown potential scandal-monger when you can siphon off the cash to your siblings? It all makes perfect sense.
No more interviews, no more negotiations, no more fighting over hours worked.
If all managers only ever employed members of their own family, it would secure the future of marriage by ensuring people were financially dependent. Anyone straying would be ostracised by society as a whole.
If only close family members were employed it would limit their power and reign in their egos as teenage sons are not going to believe in the God-like power being wielded by their parents, are they?
And if Mr Top Job had to employ his spouse as his number two, it's certain than expense accounts would come down and any unnecessary business lunches and overnight stopovers would become a thing of the past.
And Guru should know. Just ask Mrs Guru - she's been on less than the minimum wage for longer than Yours Truly can remember. And the main reason for that memory loss? Mrs Guru still holds the rights to the saucepan, the rolling pin and the garden shovel. The mysterious blue follical desert is testament to her unsung power.
