February 15, 2008
A surprise champion for unsung professionals has emerged from the shadows to save an endangered profession from what would undoubtedly have been a slow and painful death.
Expressing his concern that they were a dying breed – or at the very least, the keepers of a dying art – torturers everywhere can now breath a sigh of relief, safe in the knowledge that good ol' boy George Dubya has endorsed their shady work practices.
Of course, breathing a sigh of relief or anything else is not something that inmates of Guantanamo Bay and other US establishments can expect to do once they are on the 'waterboarding' table.
Guru supposed that waterboarding was a bit like surfing, so didn't immediately see the connection to torturing. This is largely down to the chummy name it's been given – much in the same way that 'friendly fire' doesn't sound like it would blow your legs off; or 'extraordinary rendition' sounds like a discription of a great operatic performance rather than the illegal crating-up and airfreighting of citizens around the world in 80 days; or the same way that 'defence company' doesn't really do justice to the reality of 'manufacturer of weapons and other tools of death'.
Fortunately, the Monkey-who-would-be-president has explained it all to the world.
Still, it's good to see Yours Truly is no longer alone in championing the cause of the endangered jobs of this world – even if his only ally is a halfwit presidential primate eager to leave a lasting impression (or at the very least a really big burned out crater) on the earth.
Any doubts about his and his country's commitment to this dying art are easily dispelled on YouTube.
