June 5, 2008
News reaches the blue lugholes that our chums who toil for hours out on the green sward - ostensibly golf junkies, but in reality all the 'top businessmen in the world who do all their top business on the golf course' who've just had a heavy (largely liquid) lunch at the clubhouse - now have a portable facility to ease their journey from hole to hole.
For thanks to the UroClub, incontinent chief execs can while away the hours pissing away company time, money and... er... urine, without ever leaving the first green.Now a hollow-tubed fake golf club might seem a tad tacky to most of us - and it certainly would be after a few uses - but apparently it's just the ticket for the world's top decision makers.
And while it paints a whole new picture of what it means to hang out with the big knobs, Guru feels it doesn't go far enough, as with all that food in their systems, surely top CEOs would also be in need of a... um... strategic data dump.
To this end he proposes the PooBagTM - a container that looks much like an ordinary golf bag, but is actually full of... You guessed it.
The possibilities are endless, especially in the sports arena: extra-wide handled tennis rackets, jolly hockey sticks with added girth and, of course, the extra-wide soccer specials (with an in-sock tube system to discourage dribbling) so footballers could really fill their boots.
But why not extend the technology to the office?
Guru sees plenty of mileage in the ReallyBigChair combo container, for stay-at-your-desk merchants, or what about a fake watercooler, a hollow PC (peeC), or maybe the DrawerMate (using PuddleMaster technology). All these could lead to impressive productivity gains... and big savings in the provision of real rest room facilities, thereby making it a truly green initiative.
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