June 24, 2008
Feeding the nation ridiculous statistics is the meat and drink of the nation's national newspaper hacks - and the fatheads who gorge themselves on the flaky numbers that rarely add up.
However, the nation's lard-watchers are now sitting in their specially reinforced chairs feasting on a smorgasbord of spurious statistics from the NHS about fat kids.
Following Yours Truly's breaking news that Scotland is to force employers to weigh up the odds (and anyone else who's a bit rotund) on a regular basis to get the nation great again after devolution we are now told that one in 10 children are obese when they start primary school. Hmmm.
Guru wonders whether this fat stat is actually anything new.
When he was at school, in the austere 'blackjack and a digestive' years of the 1960s, at least three out of 10 pupils were wide-beamers. And when he progressed to 'big school' he was outnumbered by the massive munching crew who took the fat count to six out of 10, seriously jeopardising the chances of the school sports teams.
And in any case, if the health service is to justify its existence it needs to keep the tubbos sweet (or, rather, in sweets) so they keep waving the flag for free health care. Plus... who but the very BMI-challenged fatties would eat all the swill dished out in hospitals these days?
Luckily the clinically obese will eat anything.
Guru's Tweets