June 23, 2008
Guru's Scottish cousin Willie McGuru nearly choked on his deep fried mars bar this morning when he read that workers north of the border were to be 'encouraged' to enter their weight into their company intranets.
A scheme by the devolved government will apparently see employers using new software to monitor staff weight levels, spot problems early on and offer help and advice.
Scotland is the second most obese nation in the world, you see, behind our burger-chomping, pavement-phobic friends in the US. So the government has decided that employers should crack down on the haggis over-indulgers.
Well, in contrast to what Willie 'a pint of Tennants and a pork scratchings chaser' McGuru may think, Yours Truly reckons this is a great idea. The HR possibilities are endless.
How better to decide who should receive a promotion than a quick glance at the weight chart? "Sorry Sharon, love, we would have considered you for the job of team leader, if only you'd laid off the custard creams."
Perhaps rather than performance-related pay, we could see a new wave of diet-related pay. An extra hundred quid on the annual salary for every pound lost - and obviously deductions for weight gains.
And last but not least, just imagine the morale boost for the HR team, watching the weekly weight stats coming in on a Monday morning. "Ooooh, Jenny from accounts has been a naughty girl. No new fella for her this week.... fancy a chocolate digestive?"
