Guru

"We talk about people being at risk of obesity instead of talking about people who eat too much and take too little exercise," he said. And Yours Truly agrees in no undertain terms that it is the 'calorie crunch' rather than the 'credit crunch' that should be exercising the nation's collective love handles.

But he goes on: "We talk about people being at risk of poverty, or social exclusion: it's as if these things - obesity, alcohol abuse, drug addiction - are purely external events like a plague or bad weather." Guru couldn't have put it better himself. 

But then the red mist descends: "Of course, circumstances - where you are born, your neighbourhood, your school, and the choices your parents make - have a huge impact. But social problems are often the consequence of the choices that people make."

Hmmm. Poverty kind of precludes choice, particularly with regard to 'where you are born'. And unfortunately, most poorer people don't own their neighbourhood and do not have the option of paying for extra lessons or private education.

Warming to his subject Dave 'Tough Times' Camaroon continued: "There is a danger of becoming quite literally a de-moralised society, where nobody will tell the truth anymore about what is good and bad, right and wrong.

"That is why children are growing up without boundaries, thinking they can do as they please, and why no adult will intervene to stop them - including, often, their parents."

If it weren't for the fact that the only boundaries Cameron and his chums ever come across are on the edge of the vast estates owned by their families and their chums, Duplicitous Davros might have a point. Quite why no adult ever intervened to 'stop' the likes of James Hewitt or God's representative on earth Jonathan Aitken before they were able to blight the world with their existence will always remain a mystery.

And quite why the self-proclaimed man-of-the-people 'Our Dave' should shoot himself in the foot so expertly just as the the Brown Kamikazi is all set to dive and burn - no doubt shouting 'Tory! Tory! Tory!' as he tries to take out as many Conservatives as possible - is a bit of a puzzle. 

But then Yours Truly is pretty confident Dave the Dissembler doesn't really believe any of it, nor that any of the electorate actually listen to what he says. And, tragically, he's probably right - as long as Gord-help-us Brown keeps digging himself into a hole.