July 17, 2008
Guru had been pondering on why so many MPs just get away with it.
Get away with outlandish statements, get away with outlandish shoes, or simply get away without doing much at all - apart from the occasional bit of jeering.
But now it seems these untouchables, these dolittles, these apparently fireproof fools can be exposed for what they truly are.
For what they are is in danger of getting a life-threatening lung condition, be it mesothelioma, pleural plaques or full-blown asbestosis.
Yes, it seems our shouty representatives are not merely arrogant conceited fools who think that nothing can stop them and that, like Mr Tony Blair, they have a Teflon coating and a Pyrex bottom, but they been breathing in deadly strands of asbestos, which has been seeping into the air through an unlocked mineshaft or something.
And as nothing moves as effectively through the corridors of power as outbursts of hot air, the toxic chemicals have been whistling their way around the chamber, in and out of the nostril hairs and into the lungs of the wasters of Westminster.
And to add to their woes they've also been ingesting the noxious substance - on account of the open door opening onto the Houses of Commons kitchen.
"What's on the menu today Spongo?" asks Liberal Autocrat Steve Rod (with his super-serious kinda 'Mr Normal' name).
"Uh, looks like... erm... 'plerl plas'," intones crouton-munching Etonista Sheldon Spongely-Norton, Conservative MP for Twatchet.
"Looks like there's some Mesthelioma, too, boys," pipes up Dame Teddy O'Dosser (Labour, Liverpool 58). "I think it's a Turkish version of semolina... or was that the fat actor who married that downmarket TV cop woman?"
Yours Truly wonders if the MPs and leaping lords will see fit to hastily pull down their own petard, hoisted hastily last October. For, sadly for the palace of fools, it was then they saw fit to declare that pleural plaques is not in-fact the scarring of the lungs and a debilitating precursor of asbestosis - despite plenty of medical evidence to the contrary, and clearly on the grounds that it would damage the many and not the privileged few.
Now it seems the boot is on the other foot, and the other foot is firmly ensconced in their mouth. And if Guru is right in thinking the Houses of Parliament are still exempt from the smoking ban, they've no doubt been putting it in their pipe and smoking it ever since.
Posted for your edification by Guru on July 17, 2008 3:34 PM
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