July 1, 2008
If you are reading this on your fag break - obviously on an outside laptop or in the smoky confines of your own home - look away now.
Workers believe that smokers take more sick leave than anyone else - even fatties.
Yep, according to a poll of 1,300 working adults by those obsessive clipboard-holders Aon Consulting, 57% of people reckon smokers take unaccpeptable amounts of time off ill.
The obese came a close second in the begrudged stakes, with 56% of workers unhappy about the time supersizers spent absent. After this, just a third of people thought elderly workers took too much time off sick, while recent graduates, 'the boss', and flexible workers brought up the rear.
Well, it must all make smokers want to rage uncontrollably at their mis-understanding colleagues... once they've popped outside for a quick Marlboro Light, of course.
Ah yes a quick nicotine-fuelled 15 minute wander about in the sun, a chat about last night's football match with Bob from Sales and then maybe stop off to make some tea, pick up a couple of biscuits from the Third Floor and - oh - it's lunchtime.
Better put off that rage until later - maybe tomorrow - oh, was going to phone in sick tomorrow, let's pencil it in for next week.
But of course, the smug lung destroyers retort, the smoking area is the new golf course. At first Guru thought this meant you could turn up with your nine iron and take a whack at Jim from Marketing's balls, but disappointingly it means all the important business is done in a foul smelling shack in the staff car park.
Well, disciples, I think the time has come to draw the line. Guru did not see anything in the Equality Bill banning discrimination against smokers. Time for some 'positive action'.
