Archive | August, 2008

Good news in troubled economic times

Finally, in a world where news is dominated by depressing statistics and fear-mongering research, Guru has something that puts a smile on his face. According to a survey of 1527 adults from the Yorkshire Building Society (YBS), the most important traits men want in a wife are a desire to take care of the home (44%), cooking (39%) and cleaning (33%).
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Crazy council’s ‘sex’ madness

Guru loves a bit of political correctness gone mad (PCGM), especially when it involves allegations of sexism and offensive phrases. Winner of this week’s PCGM award is the buffoon at Chichester District Council who decided to publish a politically correct ‘language guide’ to prevent staff from offending women, small children, Islamic fundamentalists and Scientologists (I made the […]
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The paint stripper

Doing household chores in the nude is nothing new to Guru, although climbing the ladder when cleaning the windows at the front of his house has caused a few raised eyebrows among the local neighbourhood watch. Guru finds vacuuming, washing up and ironing in the buff a truly liberating experience. So he was delighted to […]
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Red Shoe Diaries

A bizarre email pinged into his inbox reminded Guru of the above named erotic ‘drama’ series on cable television in the 1990s. Guru spent many a happy hour admiring the fine acting and well crafted dialogue of the Red Shoe Diaries. But now Guru is a fully fledged consenting adult, his tastes have changed somewhat […]
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National Hug Your Boss Day

Lapdance club magnates, ward managers and air hostess team leaders will be arriving at work early this morning with a glint in their eye and the strong scent of aftershave on their freshly shaven skin. Why? Well, it is National Hug Your Boss Day, of course – cringeable photos here.  
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Workforce diversity: the answer

If there are any HR professionals out there wondering how to attract female staff in this new age of contracts-for-diversity, Guru has the answer. Or rather the mayor of remote Queensland mining town Mount Isa has the answer…
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Death of a barman

A man walks into a bar. His day has been long, his time is now short, and the pub is where he sorts his problems out. He takes a seat on the bar stool, orders a pint, and begins to recount how he was made redundant. After speaking for a good ten minutes, the man […]
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Richard! Richard! Richard!

Today Guru can bring you the latest in his series of HR look-a-likies – and it seems employers’ group the CBI is a rich vein of identity swappers. After Guru revealed that director of public services Susan Anderson was separated at birth from canoe wife Anne Darwin, came the following revelation from Disciple Emily. “Richard Lambert, […]
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Stealing from the boys in blue

As Guru was gliding through the traffic with the aid of a locally-sourced car siren this morning, he heard the story about the amount of police gear that’s been nicked in the past three years. It seems that more than £1m of police property has been stolen since 2005 – including stab vests, breath-test kits […]
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Sainsbury’s launches half price wine for honest HR folk

Guru has long been a fan of the cut-price wine offer often found at the aisle ends of his local Waitrose and Sainsbury’s. This prime merchandising area has been the haunt of many a healthy-hearted wine drinker ever since the supermarkets stopped dilly-dallying with their £1 off here and 10% reductions there and started giving the […]
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