October 13, 2008
While on hold to his gas provider this morning to explain that a personal government bailout was needed to fund his latest bill, Yours Truly started browsing the internet.
Loudly berating a scantily clad Mrs Guru for her penchant for having the radiators so hot you have to wear sunscreen just to watch TV, Guru came across an interesting news item. Apparently, one in four call centre workers has overheard people arguing.
In fact, Guru may have unwittingly starred in the survey, as one worker said he "accidentally" overheard an argument during which a woman described her partner's bedroom performance as "rubbish". Of course, it has been at least a decade since Guru has had the opportunity to be even that good.
The horror continues. More than one in 10 call centre workers have had to listen to someone using the bathroom when they thought they were on hold, according to the poll by communications firm Siemens Enterprise Communications.
Almost one in 20 has been serenaded by unsuspecting customers, although presumably many of these were the callers on the toilet.
Perhaps unsurprisingly considering the gossip potential, the poll of 1,500 call centre employees found that 53% enjoyed their job, with one in ten saying they "loved" it.
Encouragingly for Guru, as the gorgeous-sounding Geordie lass finally answered his call, 14% of those polled have asked a caller out. Even more encouragingly, 42% of those have gone on a date.
Ridiculously, the survey claims that 5% of those who went on dates went on to marry the caller. So that's 5% of 42% of 14% - or pretty good odds by Guru's reckoning.
Waay aye pet, do you fancy ganning up toon for a pint and a marriage? Then you can describe my bedroom performance as rubbish and reduce my gas bill. Oh sorry, didn't realise you had picked the phone up there.
Tim Bishop, head of strategy for Siemens Enterprise Communications, said: ''The research shows that call centre workers have quite an interesting time in their role.
"'However, this reveals not only the lighter side of modern call centres, but also how they offer a challenging, sociable and enjoyable career.''
Guru didn't hear the rest, he was off searching for his phone bill.
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