October 8, 2008
As jobs become scarce, news from Japan that Monkeys are being employed to carry out menial tasks in a restaurant comes as no surprise to Guru. Apparently the monkeys are acting as waiters - delivering drinks and hot towels to enlightened customers.
Being imbued with the wisdom of the East, Yours Truly has always understood that our hairy relatives should be used to further our own ends, so a bit of tawdry towel work sounds just about right, as now that their mission to help develop vaccines and other vital medicines has been largely thwarted by animal activists, the world's population of hardworking monkeys has been looking for a new way to help mankind prosper.
One such tree-dweller has been making a monkey of power mad ticket staff in Tokyo who took it upon themselves to scare and harass the creature, presumably a regular commuter heading for some uptown restaurant, for not having a ticket.
However, speaking through a translator, a spokesman for the Tokyo rail network did not say: "One of our ticket operatives asked the hairy commuter if he had a ticket and he just bolted, ending up on the roof. Naturally, all our ticket inspectors abandon their positions, called in the TV crews and found some handy monkey nets before setting about terrifying the scared primate."
Yours Truly wonders whether the underground staff in Tokyo were miffed because they are paid peanuts and perhaps thought the chimp was after their jobs.
Still, it does hold open the door to a world of possibilities for world's number one primate, the soon-to-be-ousted-if-he-can-keep-his-finger-off-the-red-button monkey boy that is George W Bush.
Having said that, it's doubtful the old dumb-ass cowboy would be able to walk in a straight line without two fat bodyguards to steady him, let alone carry a glass bottle safely.
Posted for your edification by Guru on October 8, 2008 10:36 AM
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