October 22, 2008
Earlier today (or yesterday, depending on whose watch you're standing next to) call centre workers in India were holding their breath and quite possibly praying to Chandra, while simultaneously pretending to be rabbits, in a naive bid to bring doom and destruction on the subcontinent's first mission to the moon as it ascended to the heavens.
Being Guru, he was obviously kept in the loop about this development by the moon god, who asked Yours Truly to reassure the call centre workers of Mumbai and Delhi that their jobs are safe and the world's banking fraternity have no plans to outsource outsourced jobs to the ultimate in outsource location.
For despite the obvious reasoning that if UK call centre jobs go to India and China and Indonesia cannot take up any more slack, then Indian call centre jobs must surely be transferred to the moon, nothing could be further from the truth.
For while pay might well be literally out of this world, it's a tough old commute (what with the apparent housing shortage on the near side), and everyone knows that getting a BT line to work more than three miles from an exchange is nigh on impossible, which kind of rules out any kind of meaningful conversations from the lunar surface until they develop a copper wire that's 238,855 miles long.
Guru notes that some UK banking customers have expressed similar sentiments about conversations with call centres in India, but he couldn't possibly comment.
Unfortunately, nor would the Man in the Moon, who was unaccountably unavailable on this auspicious day of miraculous happenings.
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