Giant migrant invasion expected any minute
It seems some unlicensed employer has taken to 'landing' some seriously suspect, potentially low-skilled migrant worker giants, by floating them in across the north sea - potentially in numbers so vast that the UK will soon be swamped with these eight feet tall migrant behemoths, with the UK Border Agency's tough new border patrols seemingly powerless to stop them.
For the unskilled labour turning up on the UK's beaches are made of 100% plastic, which means they don't need passports and are beholden to no nation in particular, making them particularly suitable for cross-border co-operation, as it were.
And being largely inanimate objects they have no inherent accommodation needs and require neither sustenance nor smoking allowance (unlike Guru's beloved Bulgarians).
However, on (not really very much ) closer inspection, Guru can reveal that they are, in fact, giant Lego toys and, while more productive than the average British worker, should not pose too big a threat to Gordon Brown's pledge of "British jobs for British yobs" - or whatever it was he actually said.
Yours Truly will be sending a Specsavers voucher to disciple Maggie, but urges the nation to keep an eye out for a larger than life-size Lego Death Star and Bionicle warlord. Apparently, if you keep them in their packet, in 900 years they'll be worth at least 25p each.