February 21, 2009
The Golden Raspberry Awards - or Razzies - are held every year alongside The Oscars to salute the worst Hollywood has to offer.
In honour of these alternative awards, Guru has launched his own HR Oscars - the Blueberry Awards, to recognise all that is rubbish in HR and the world of work.
Worst Training Initiative
Carlsberg's decision to shut down its plant in Leeds for three days to send staff on a 'learning day' - just weeks before it announced the factory would be closing with the loss of 170 jobs. Speaking to Personnel Today at the time, Natalie Steed, HR manager at Carlsberg Leeds, said the training was expected to help with staff retention over the next five years.
Most Pointless Survey
Nominations for this category were plentiful and all equally ludicrous. However, the Blueberry goes to a survey by horoscopes website scopemyfuture.com that claimed one in five employers had taken a candidate's star sign into consideration during the recruitment process. Apparently, those born under the Gemini sign are especially suitable for sales roles or creative professions - such as making up stupid survey questions.
Worst Legal Advice
'Sack workers on Christmas Eve' is perhaps not your traditional Christmas message, but nevertheless one 'Scrooge' solicitor told HR professionals to swing the axe. "I would actually recommend that people who may be a nuisance or disruptive to a business are actually told they've lost their job as close to Christmas as possible," he said. Guru salutes you, sir.
Worst Working Environment
Lapland New Forest made the news in the run-up to Christmas by way of its sheer crappiness. A security guard who resigned in shame best summed it up: "Santa got attacked, one of the elves got smacked in the face and pushed into a pram. I was punched in the forehead in the ticket office by an irate customer. I was ashamed to work there, really, really ashamed."
Quote of the Year
"Friday 13th is a day like any other. And just like on any other day, some people will have an accident, and some people will not. I have seen no evidence that Friday 13th features in our case load any more than any other day."
A wonderful piece of insight from personal injury lawyer Charlotte Pegman.
Least Strategic HR Department
North East Derbyshire District council offering knitting classes to employees to combat stress was a strong contender, as was Chichester District Council publishing a politically correct 'language guide' to prevent staff from offending women. However, the Blueberry goes to the HR team at Tameside Council in Greater Manchester for its lunchtime walks initiative and new policy of offering leave to staff who want to have cosmetic surgery.
HR Balls Up of the Year
News reached Guru on the jungle drums of this classic piece of HR mastery. The HR team at Woolworths called head office staff to a meeting to announce they had lost their jobs, to which the employees did the only sensible thing left open to them - go to the pub. A couple of hours later, the HR manager calls a few select individuals to say, er, sorry you're not really sacked, please come back and work a few more weeks.
Overall Blueberry Winner
Who to crown winner of this award? How about the ubiquitous David Fairhurst, the never-knowingly-underquoted HR chief at McDonald's? Don't forget PPMA president Stephen Moir for his forthright conference address last year attacking 'HR dinosaurs'.
No, the winner this year is the entire HR team at RBS who, presumably, were busy fiddling while Rome burned. Speaking at the start of 2008, HR director Neil Roden somewhat underestimated what lay in store for his employer: "I don't think 2008 will be an easy year for financial services globally, but on the other hand I don't think it's going to be a disastrous year either."
RBS had a stated ambition to "become one of the most admired global financial services organisations". Congratulations on your award guys!
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