Hot new look for female firefighters

Apparently the reason why so few women and ethnic minorities want to join the fire service is not because it’s a profession dominated by bullying, chauvanistic men, but because the uniforms don’t fit properly.

But now that fashion faux pas has been solved with the roll out of new uniforms which, according to the press release, have been “specifically designed for a modern diverse workforce”.

So rubbish have the female uniforms been up until now they have just been an adapted version of the men’s; meaning their bums definitely would have looked big in this.



The new range of clothing available now includes maternity wear, hajib (headscarf), full length skirts, long sleeved shirts and turban options. Sadly, no pictures are currently available, so Guru has used Penny from kids TV show Fireman Sam to illustrate what it might look like. 

Guru is pleased to note that the new uniforms were fully tested but wonders who would have volunteered for such an ordeal, bearing in mind it involved “flame engulfment”. Not the usual requirement when asked to try on a new uniform. Perhaps the firefighters that were late for work that day got volunteered in their absence.

The government assures us that better dressed firefighters mean more lives will be saved. Guru is relieved; he just wants to know that if his house is burning down then someone will be coming to the rescue without worrying about their trousers falling down.

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