April 1, 2009
April Fools' Day is here and you would be forgiven for thinking the ludicrous mistakes from CVs below were jokes.
Depressingly, they are all too real and are from CVs submitted by those less fortunate that walk among us ie. jobseekers. Thanks to career site Monster for these gaffes which, needless to say, did not result in jobs:
Guru agrees, and would add that, in his experience CVs only tell half the story. For a real laugh, disciples should get the morons in for an interview.
Depressingly, they are all too real and are from CVs submitted by those less fortunate that walk among us ie. jobseekers. Thanks to career site Monster for these gaffes which, needless to say, did not result in jobs:
- As security guard my job is to pervert unauthorised people from coming onto the site
- My job involved processing clams
- I am a pubic relations officer
- I am matured
- My interests include cooking dogs and interesting people
- I was responsible for dissatisfied customers
- My role involved coaching and mentioning
- I relieved the conference manager
- I made the deserts
- I am a prooficient typist
- Socially I like to dine out with different backgrounds
- I get well with all types of people
- I was responsible for fraudulent claims
- While working in this role, I had intercourse with a variety of people (Guru thinks this is not a mistake)
- Experienced sheet mental worker
- Highly adept at multi-tasting
- Left last four jobs only because the managers were completely unreasonable
Guru agrees, and would add that, in his experience CVs only tell half the story. For a real laugh, disciples should get the morons in for an interview.
Guru's Tweets
Comments (4)
Even better, i have had 2 cv's where the contact details included an email addy with drug references (a bit like dopehead@yahoo.com)and the job was at heathrow airport. LOL The sniffer dogs and staff searches weren't enough to put them off!
Posted by Ann | April 3, 2009 10:54 AM
Posted on April 3, 2009 10:54
Why do people not realise that there email addresses are so revealing, it warrants a post in itself.....particularly having carried out a graduate recruitment capaign a while ago, where 25% must have had the word sexy in their address..
Posted by HRD | April 4, 2009 6:22 PM
Posted on April 4, 2009 18:22
Although this can often raise a few smiles, in the current climate, this is all too common. Flowers Associates are registering around 20% of people we actually receive applications from. A recent covering letter in application for an administration role, indicated that it had been written by a relative due to their inability to read or write, no access to a telephone so communication via post only along with extensive depth of health problems explaining that time off will be required on a regular basis to attend appointments on top of anticipated lengthy absence due to illness.
Clearly there are good people out there, however many are at risk of being left on the shelf unless they pay a lot more attention to what they are trying to achieve.
Posted by Adam Flowers | April 6, 2009 12:12 PM
Posted on April 6, 2009 12:12
I've had similar problems with email addresses many years ago when i worked in recruitment. I remember one CV which had impressive experience and was well presented but the email address was along the lines of psychobitchsarah@hotmail.com
Posted by Mark | April 6, 2009 4:08 PM
Posted on April 6, 2009 16:08