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How to place new employees in right department

May 21, 2009

Disciple Kevin emails and suggests the following method could be a way to save cash on expensive employee assessment programmes.
  1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room
  2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door
  3. Leave them alone and come back after six hours
  4. Then analyse the situation
If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Administration.
If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Senior Management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, then put them in government.

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Posted for your edification by Guru on May 21, 2009 7:44 AM |

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Guru is Personnel Today's notorious HR commentator and dispenser of workplace wit and wisdom. He was once an HR Director but is now the antithesis of good people management. He is right-leaning, most certainly politically incorrect and ever so slightly misogynistic. He is also lazy, married (to Mrs Guru) and refers to himself – as all self-important people do - in the third person.

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