June 24, 2009
Where would Guru be without the police? Few bloggers can boast as glorious and constant a source of inspiration. Nary a day goes by without a disciple sending in a police-related story. And today is certainly no exception. Scottish disciple Hamish has brought to Guru's attention a rare incidence of someone aspiring to be a member of the constabulary.
Stuart Kennedy of Aberdeenshire, a police-themed male stripper (no truncheon or helmet jokes, please) is known on stage as Sergeant Eros. The enterprising Kennedy, for a reason known possibly only to himself, fitted a white strobe light to his car's dashboard and, while in uniform, began stopping cars by the roadside .
Peterhead Sheriff Court was told Kennedy was on his way to a stripping job at the Palace Hotel in Peterhead when the first incident involved. Later the same night he pulled over an off-duty firefighter.
Kennedy denied impersonating a police officer, insisting that he used the strobe light so that other drivers could see him. He also denied claims from one of the drivers he stopped that he pretended to talk into the fake police radio attached to his uniform.
Sgt Eros, sorry, Stuart Kennedy was found guilty of fitting his car with a flashing light, two charges of impersonating a police officer, and of having a police uniform and equipment in hus possession.
While the man is undoubtedly an idiot (and a master of the understated, having said that fitting a strobe light to his car "probably wasn't the best idea"), Guru is excited by the possibilities thrown up by the incident. For instance, have the police thought of blaming some of their recent crimes and misdemeaours on impersonators? That alleged waterboarding incident in London, for a start - might that have been the work of a frustrated male stripper? And as for the G20 violence - suddenly it all makes sense.
Guru's Tweets