Archive | November, 2009

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China’s civil service job rush

Imagine the administrative nightmare for HR to sort this lot out. An estimated one million people are expected to take the national entrance exam for civil service jobs in China. However there are only 15,000 positions available.If Guru’s maths is correct, that’s a 1 in 66 chance of landing a plum low-paid job pushing paper […]
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Guru’s Friday workplace funnies

Here’s the best funny workplace stories of the week: Happy Friday everyone! Working women exaggerate partners’ lack of effort around the house Survey warns of potential Secret Santa blunders University to hold ‘virtual’ graduation ceremony Beefeaters sacked for bullying female colleague Bouncers to wear head-cams to film bar troublemakers
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How to beat the axe – bribe HR

We all know what a bunch of unethical charlatans those in the City are. But it really does seem that desperate times call for desperate measures asthey are prepared to do almost anything to keep their jobs.A poll by IT security firm Cyber-Ark revealed a third of City workers would do their utmost to take […]
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Stephen Fry tops car-sharing commuter poll

Who would you like to give a lift to work to?Well, according to car leasing firm Alphabet, most people think writer, broadcaster, actor, comedian and uber-tweeter Stephen Fry would make the ideal car companion. Fry (I’m sure he would be pleased to learn) ‘easily’ beat X-Factor judge and WAG Cheryl Cole and Top Gear’s Jeremy […]
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Paris mademoiselles banned from wearing trousers

Guru doesn’t have a lot of time for our Gallic cousins across the Channel. Or as Grounds Keeper Willie from The Simpsons calls them, ‘cheese-eating surrender monkeys’.But Yours Truly has warmed to them slightly after it emerged a law banning Parisian ladies from wearing trousers is still in existence. The rule was first introduced in […]
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One man’s rant on media sales recruitment

Someone under the pseudonym Mr City Man posted this comment on a career blog. It never actually got published but Guru can now reveal its full glory to disciples as it provides a window into the world of one young man trying to get a job in media sales. Potentially libellous and defamatory comments have […]
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Guru’s Friday workplace funnies

Here are Guru’s top stories of the week: Santa group demands swine flu vaccination Disability benefit fraudster rumbled after appearing on DIY show Top BBC director admits his job title is ‘completely barmy’ Shop worker gives prospective boyfriend hefty discounts Shopaholic wanted to find world’s best shopping hotspots
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Japanese bankers go bonkers – literally.

While we’re all aware of China’s ‘one child policy’, what few people, especially those of us who have to battle through central London’s tourist hoardes, have noticed is that the Japanese population is dwindling, too. But never let the Japanese be accused of failing to take a bull by its, er, ‘horns’. Mitsubishi UFJ (MUFJ), […]
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CIPD conference buzzword bingo

Why not play Guru’s HR buzzword bingo game to pass the time if you’re stuck in a dull seminar? Disciples not going to Manchester this year can play the game in the next meeting they attend. Remember to shout ‘bingo’ when you cross off all the buzzwords. Current economic climate Going forward Recovery Jackie Orme […]
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Guru’s guide to CIPD Manchester

So farewell Harrogate, hello Manchester. The CIPD has moved its annual bash to the North West and the insalubrious surroundings of Manchester. You will also notice that it is mid-November and most probably raining. A quick check finds that the average temperature in Manc at this time of year is a balmy 9˚C. Thermal undies […]
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