Top excuses for pulling a sickie (Guru)

Top excuses for pulling a sickie

November 16, 2009

Guru is happy to share these classic excuses for employees phoning in sick:

"I'm too drunk to drive to work."
"I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet."
"I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work."
"I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened."
"My boyfriend's snake escaped from its cage and I'm afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home."
"I'm too fat to get into my work outfit."
"God didn't wake me." (Employee didn't believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready.)
"I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have to go to the doctor."
"The ghosts in my house kept me up all night."
"I forgot I was getting married today."
"My cow bit me."
"My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our garden. His foot fell in and we can't get it out."
"I was walking down the street watching road works being done, fell in the hole and hurt myself."
"I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back."
"My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in."

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Posted for your edification by Guru on November 16, 2009 8:16 AM | Permalink

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About

This page contains a single entry from Guru's blog posted on November 16, 2009 8:16 AM.

The previous offering of wisdom from Guru was Guru's Friday funnies.

The next post in this blog is Guru's guide to CIPD Manchester.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

About Guru

Guru is Personnel Today's notorious HR commentator. He's been working in HR for far too long and observes every passing management fad with a mixture of anger and amusement. His blog is the one thing saving his long-suffering wife, Mrs Guru, from having to endure too much of his ranting about the big HR stories of the day.

Guru

Guru, the notorious commentator from Personnel Today's back page, shares his wisdom on the world of work. Focusing on the latest news in human resources and people management, he takes an irreverent look at issues that affect us all.