December 2, 2009
In a bah humbug move, the authorities have shut down Santa's Grotto. Not the Santa's Grotto, you understand, but the no doubt somewhat grottier (ho, ho, ho) version lurking in the carpark in the Knocknagoney branch of 
Tesco. That's in Belfast, my cousin Seamus O'Guru reliably informs me.
Why the lack of yuletide spirit? Guru hears that local residents have complained about loud Christmas music, calling it 'Christmas rap', although that might have been a spelling mistake.
But the elves aren't taking it lying down - no, not those little green-clad terrors. They are sitting down. Organiser Glen Ross and his three elves have staged a sit-in.
Ross said: "It's unbelievable. We built the grotto a week and a half ago, and Santa arrived there last Thursday. We're just trying to make a few quid for charity."
Tesco representatives said that they have offered to move the grotto to the section of the car park furthest from the complaining neighbours. But Ross says that he and the elves have not been approached by the supermarket, and are determined to stay put.
While despairing at the lack of Christmas spirit, Guru is not disheartened. You can visit Santa in his grotto any December you want, but how often do you get to cross an elf picket line. Anyone know the elfish for 'scab'?
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