February 2, 2010
For centuries, the practice of shaking hands has been used to greet a colleague, welcome a new acquaintance or seal a business deal. But now, one veteran MP has called for handshakes to be ditched. Paul Flynn, Labour MP for Newport West, wrote on his blog last month:
And what with swine flu and other nasty bugs and viruses, maybe it is time we consigned handshakes to the dustbin of history.
But what to replace them with? The continental double cheek kiss? An Obama-style fist touch? An Eskimo nose-rub? How about a friendly bottom pat? Guru doesn't know what's for the best. Let's just stick with a good old fashioned British formal handshake. At least that way we should avoid tribunals.
"Handshakes are getting less popular. Good riddance. They are unnecessary unhygienic germ-spreading intrusions. Some oafs use them to prove strength of their personalities with bone-crushers. They should be summoned for assault. Their behaviour should demonstrate their strength of character.Guru reckons Flynn's tongue is firmly in his cheek by the end of this rant, but he does raise a point worth debating. Bone-crushers are usually the domain of men suffering from Small Man Syndrome, blokes who compensate for being short by applying a vice-like grip to your hand.
"Among the millions of atrocities are many with painful hands, Eye-watering hand squeezes can be excruciatingly painful. Grimacing in pain does not deter them. Even yelps of pain or the sarcasm has no effect. 'Don't worry, my fingers will be back to normal in six time,' I've tried on some insensitive dolts - the point is never understood.
"Who will be first person to be charged with assault by handshake?"
And what with swine flu and other nasty bugs and viruses, maybe it is time we consigned handshakes to the dustbin of history.
But what to replace them with? The continental double cheek kiss? An Obama-style fist touch? An Eskimo nose-rub? How about a friendly bottom pat? Guru doesn't know what's for the best. Let's just stick with a good old fashioned British formal handshake. At least that way we should avoid tribunals.
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Comments (1)
Personally, I do the Roman forearm-shake, where both people just grasp each other's forearms.
As respectful and hygienic for both parties.
Posted by Max Kennedy | February 18, 2010 2:41 AM
Posted on February 18, 2010 02:41