Two come along at once as twin tubbies told to shed pounds by Blackpool bus operator

As if to prove that Yours Truly had an actual point when highlighting the needless targeting of those more rotund members of society, Blackpool Transport has snubbed two fatty bus drivers and told them to shed the pounds before they can continue their driving duties.

Guru has heard, however, that any rumour that the buses were tilting dangerously to one side would be strenuously denied between mouthfuls of profiteroles.

The Unite union has naturally thrown its pasties out of the pram in a stotty cake inspired piece of bravura posturing and declared that it is outraged at the decision to expect bus drivers to be able to fit behind the wheel. In fact, Guru is willing to eat his weight in empty buses if it does not transpire that the bus driving tubsters were spending more time in the pie shop than being firmly in the driving seat – if, indeed, they could actually fit behind the wheel, which is presumably the nugget, if not the chicken nugget, of the dispute.

Allegedly, union leaders and members of the council subsidiary were getting together over a few cakes and high-fat juice drinks to discuss what might happen next.

But considering the drivers are suspended on full pay pending a decision, the junk food outlets of the golden mile have been put on full alert in preparation for the twin tubbies visit to the seafront to fill their faces on account of being tragically depressed about their situation.

It only remains for Yours Truly to ponder that If only Blackpool Transport had a FatOmeter 3D!!!! fat detector it could have spotted this problem much earlier on, put its rapidly expanding driving force on reduced rations, all before lunchtime.