I Can’t Believe It’s Not…

Guru immediately apologies for the use of ‘Americanised’ capitals in the headline to this piece of pure genius, but makes no apologies for coming up with a major trade initiative for his chum David ‘Bulli-boy’ Cameron to put to the inscrutables in the Far East.

News that Rolls-Royce has secured a massive deal to supply engines to the Big Red Machine is good news for jobs in Derby, but that’s small fry compared to the massive trade gap between Great Britain and the Chinese.

Fortunately, Yours Truly has come up with a solution. And UK manufacturers need to get in quick to secure the jobs for Brits – I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tiger.


Apparently, there are only a few thousand of our stipey cousins left in the wild, and apart from the odd, mad hunter with a desire for a tigerskin rug, most of the dead cats end up in Chinese medicines. But GM technology has come on in such leaps and bounds Guru sees an opportunity to create real non-Tiger tiger.

Guru is contacting his friends at the World Wildlife Fund to tie down a sponsorship deal.

Come to think of it, the scheme could be extended to the Big Society. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Work would be a great slogan for those losing their unemployment and housing benefits unless they get on and do some free labour.

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