January 27, 2011
Guru notes that two "soccerball" pundits - that is, people who waffle on about nothing in particular in relation, or not, to the goings-on on a football pitch in a game played by men (and not women), managed by men (and not many women... in fact, one woman as far as Yours Truly can remember, that Karen Brady from the Apprentice who is apparently also a football businesswoman), and largely watched by men (or should that be mostly watched by large men, largely wearing ill-fitting T-shirts) - have lost their jobs on unaccountably not paying heed to the equality legislation that puts all people on a level playing field.
Former round-ball player Andy Gray and his tediously dull partner in crime Richard "looks-just-like-a-baddy-puppet-from-Stingray" Keys, resigned/were sacked after suggesting that women do not know the offside rule in soccerball and that one woman in particular - the line judge - was unaware of the rule's intricacies despite training to know just that. Luckily, the woman in question was on the "far side" of the pitch, when disparaging remarks were made.
Guru would like to stick his neck out once more and state for the record that men clearly do know the offside rule - it's the one where you get out of your car in the middle of the road because we drive on the left but sit on the right, isn't it? And in a straw poll of all the men in the building at 11am this morning, the response was overwhelming - knowing the offside rule came in at 110% Barry, which is a footballing term meaning all the men questioned knew the rule.
The fact that men know the offside rule, but not the rules about equality, equal opportunity and just being polite is quite right, of course. After all, if men had to bother their fluffy little heads thinking about what is right instead of what will make the right amount of money - as that's clearly what makes our great nation of Great Britain the great place that it so obviously is, - then we would now be speaking German/French/Italian* and living in an offshore tax haven run by Switzerland.
*delete as appropriate
Former round-ball player Andy Gray and his tediously dull partner in crime Richard "looks-just-like-a-baddy-puppet-from-Stingray" Keys, resigned/were sacked after suggesting that women do not know the offside rule in soccerball and that one woman in particular - the line judge - was unaware of the rule's intricacies despite training to know just that. Luckily, the woman in question was on the "far side" of the pitch, when disparaging remarks were made.Guru would like to stick his neck out once more and state for the record that men clearly do know the offside rule - it's the one where you get out of your car in the middle of the road because we drive on the left but sit on the right, isn't it? And in a straw poll of all the men in the building at 11am this morning, the response was overwhelming - knowing the offside rule came in at 110% Barry, which is a footballing term meaning all the men questioned knew the rule.
The fact that men know the offside rule, but not the rules about equality, equal opportunity and just being polite is quite right, of course. After all, if men had to bother their fluffy little heads thinking about what is right instead of what will make the right amount of money - as that's clearly what makes our great nation of Great Britain the great place that it so obviously is, - then we would now be speaking German/French/Italian* and living in an offshore tax haven run by Switzerland.
*delete as appropriate
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