March 18, 2011
Guru welcomes the news that residents of the UK are outliving our cousins across the pond for the first time. However, the same story also points out that young Brits are getting fatter and fatter by the minute (by the minute steak more like) and that soon we'll be outgunning the 'fattest nation in the world' - ie, America - and be sitting at the top table stuffing our faces while natural disasters pile up around us.Coincidentally, the unemployment rate among the largely young large people in this country has expanded in line with their waistbands - could the two possibly be linked? - and pretty soon Job Centre Plus is going to have to start fitting extra-wide doors and seats to accommodate the tubsters.
However, Yours Truly has a cunning plan and suggests we do a trade deal with the US.
In return for buying up their large supplies of now largely useless petrol-guzzling large cars - which we could then sell on to unknowing fools... um, sorry, Yours Truly's contacts among our and coming Eastern European entrepreneur chums (who definitely aren't in thrall to US gangster movies) - they could repay the largesse by importing all our largest young unemployed people as they have so much more space (and cheap food) over there. They could even use them as protection against coastal erosion if they wanted to.
After all, we are supposed to have a special relationship with those darn Yankees and if it helps cut unemployment here, so much the better.
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