May 4, 2011
Voting systems can be confusing things. And tomorrow's vote on the voting system couldn't be more confusing if it were a confusing thing. Luckily, Guru knows his onions and can provide a handy guide to the confused. After all, a change in voting system could rock the boat, knock the eggs out of the basket and make life generally a tad less predictable - and does anyone really want a less predictable life?Of course, Status Quo are a terrible band, but 'the' status quo is surely something to be admired and polished, nurtured and loved until it hurts? And the way you vote could have an impact on the way you work, the way work pans out, the way the future is shaped - and who wants and blobby amorphous lump of a future when they can have a predefined destiny of being beholden to the ruling classes?
Yours Truly has devised a foolproof system for overcoming any anxiety you might have about the voting system.
Simply select four of the options from the list below put them in order of preference:
1. Vote
2. Don't vote
3. Think about voting, go along to the polling station, chat, then forget to vote and head for the pub
4. Think seriously about voting, go along to the polling station, chat, remember to vote, but forget who you were going to vote for, spoil your paper
5. Intend not to vote at all and head straight for the pub. After supping a few beverages of your choice, change your mind and pop along to the polling station just in time to select one of the above
6. Sleep all day and all night.
Then simply ignore all the choices apart from the last one.
Then pass the port.
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