Archive | September, 2011

Tell them you don’t need them with Hallmark

It can be difficult telling an employee that you need to “let them go” in the interests of making “efficiency savings” towards the goal of “streamlining”, but it is about to become considerably easier thanks to Hallmark. The card company, which up to now has feasted primarily on the fruits of tacky American holidays, is […]
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Guru insulted by last-minute substitution

Image: Rex Features Guru is not having a good day. The bosses had decided to send a couple of its brightest HR stars to a management conference in Munich to give a talk about “Strategising for a bright future going forward”. Guru was last a bright star around about the time that Betelgeuse appeared in […]
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Come, recession! Come!

Image: Rex Features Guru has spent many years working in HR and can honestly say that throughout this time he has gone to bed every night dreaming of a redundancy or a complicated disciplinary process to sink his teeth into. Nothing makes Guru happier than one difficult redundancy process to negotiate, except, of course, two […]
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God wants Scotland’s rugby union team to get even worse

What do the following sportsmen have in common? Jonathan Edwards Eric Liddell Michael Jones Euan Murray That’s right, they are all guilty of taking religion a little too seriously. Each has refused to compete on a Sunday in his chosen sport, be it jumping about, running about or rugby union. Ewan Murray is the latest […]
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Female managers get questionable vote of confidence

According to the Chartered Management Institute, employees are calling for more female bosses (Employees call for more female bosses). The justification for this claim comes from a Randstad survey in which one-third of respondents agreed that the business they work for would perform better if it took advantage of the management skills of a woman. […]
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Mail reveals shocking truth about working life in Gloucestershire

The Daily Mail exclusively revealed today that more people in Gloucestershire work for Tesco than the police (Shoppers, not crooks! Gloucestershire: The county where more people work for Tesco than the police). Yes, you heard right: more people in Gloucestershire work for Tesco than the police! Guru was amazed to hear this and looks forward […]
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Applicant (incorrectly) decides honesty is the best policy

Image: Rex Features Britain’s unemployed are having to find novel ways to appeal to potential employers. One novel way is to produce a terrible CV, something that Benedict Le Gauche has achieved with applomb (World’s worst CV admits to ‘stealing’, ‘laziness’ and ‘skiving’). Mr Le Gauche, Le Gauche being a witty nom de plume, tells […]
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School faces mighty adversary in war for talent

British politicians prepare for their time in high office by being born really, really rich and going on to study PPE at Oxford with their friends. The story is somewhat different, it seems, for Somalia’s high officials, who can be found in all walks of life, as exemplified by the story of Mohamed Ibrahim. Mohamed […]
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Bad grammar will not be tolerised

According to a press release from Bottle PR found clogging up Guru’s inbox, Staffbay has found that “63% of employers site spelling and grammar mistakes as biggest CV turn off”. No arguments hear.
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