Come, recession! Come!

Image: Rex Features

Guru has spent many years working in HR and can honestly say that throughout this time he has gone to bed every night dreaming of a redundancy or a complicated disciplinary process to sink his teeth into. Nothing makes Guru happier than one difficult redundancy process to negotiate, except, of course, two difficult redundancies, or three… or, well, four is far too much to hope for. The sadness in the eyes of the poor family man being shown the door is more than compensated for by the sense of a job well done that comes from not facing a tribunal procedure.

All this means that Guru has been relishing the prospect of another almighty financial crash; his standing in the business will skyrocket once the P45s start moving. And it seems he’s not alone, as mealy-mouthed BBC presenters discovered when questioning independent market trader Alessio Rastani about the outlook for the global economy (‘Anyone can make money from a crash’, says market trader). Mirroring Guru’s own feelings, Rastani said “I go to bed every night and I dream of another recession, I dream of another moment like this”. Good for Rastani – much like HR professionals, traders are often accused of being merely amoral, when it’s quite clear they are immoral given half a chance. Now, how many more sleeps will it be until Guru and Rastani’s dreams come true?