Guru has had a very busy couple of days, having been alerted to one of the most overlooked and most damaging areas of workplace discrimination: anti-pretty women discrimination.
The whole office has been talking about this issue, which came to light yesterday with a groundbreaking piece of journalism from pretty journalist Samantha Brick, whose article ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful describes the hitherto unforeseen downsides to looking as pretty as she does.
The article sets out the issues that face women who are pretty, such as pretty journalist Samantha Brick. They involve nice things like being given champagne for no reason at all (which actually happened to pretty journalist Samantha Brick!!!!), but also being discriminated against by the disgusting excuses for women who’ve managed pretty journalist Samantha Brick in the past (they were jealous of Samantha Brick, because she’s so pretty).
Guru drafted a policy to deal with the situation and has formed an all-male deliverance team charged with actioning it. The most difficult part of the process has been working out who is pretty and who isn’t pretty. To this end, Guru has blown up photos of pretty journalist Samantha Brick and plastered them all over the situation room (they’ve been very distracting because she’s so pretty), and is using them to rate the women of the office on the “Brick scale”.
Women as pretty as pretty Samantha Brick are “0″, which is the mid-point of the scale. The scale, theoretically, goes higher, but there’s been no need for higher ratings, as nobody in the office is as pretty as Samantha Brick (we should be so lucky!). Most women have been comfortably below a Brick rating of 0, with most managers getting a score of about -10 on the Brick scale. These women have been informed of their Brick rating and warned about the dangers of discriminating against women higher on the Brick scale.
And, yes, Guru can reveal, just as pretty journalist Samantha Brick predicted, that these women have been extremely hostile throughout the whole process (probably because all women are awful bitter people who hate anybody more attractive than them).
Regardless, Guru hopes that his “Brick scale” will catch on and prevent pretty journalist Samantha Brick not getting what’s coming to her, which is free champagne, a Pulitzer prize for her brilliant article (she won’t get it because the judges are probably well ugly) and promotions.
Let’s be honest Ms Brick everyone is entitled to feel the way they wish to feel about themselves even if it just so happens 99.995 % of the world would choose disagrees with you.
That said Ms Brick, when you’re next in town, please be sure to pop by and have tea and we can both spend an afternoon in a beauty salon and hope for the best….
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/04/samantha-brick-this-bile-just-proves-im-right/
Well I think Ms Brick knows she is not that attractive but bringing light to a situation that needs attention. Attractive women are discriminated against all the time in the workplace. My manager was very angry at me because a Doc used to joke around with me. My coworkers hated me and did everything in their power to spread rumors, bully me, set me up with married men, ruin my career, keep eyes on my whenever a man had a professional conversation with me. When I try to confide in someone they don’t take me seriously. They think I am being arrogant or narcissitic but attractive women are discriminated against on a very large scale but plane janes to the point where unattractive women will do everything in their power to ruin an attractive woman. This includes waitresses, apartment managers, supervisors, realtors, you name it. Attractive woman are always a target.