Message from Telegraph: no more women on boards

The board that Guru answers to has the typical composition of egotistical, slightly autistic men, so Guru was overjoyed to stumble across the Telegraph’s fabulous new(ish) blog giving an insight into the machinations of the executive team from a female perspective. It’s just so typical of The Telegraph to stick up for the minority.

After what must have been hours and hours of deliberations, the Telegraph decided to call its new blog “Board Babe“, neatly summing up that the blog is written by both a board member of a company and a baby, sorry, a woman. It’s also alliterative.

The surprising thing about Board Babe is that it makes a very powerful argument that not only should board babe herself not be on a board, but that no women at all should be on boards. Speaking for all women in business, as board babe does, a reader cannot help but face the realisation that women are inane, vain, reductionist nitwits. Guru was astonished, because he’s met loads of women working throughout his working life who’ve managed to very successfully hide how stupid and self-satisfied they are. As such, he’s indebted to the Telegraph.

Here’s a particular gem:

“I have worked hard to get where I am, and perhaps quicker than the average women who has taken time out to have children and get married. Add to that some colourful life experience and yes, it’s fair to say I have wisdom beyond my years. But I would like to think it hasn’t aged me.”

Guru, along with all those “average” women who “took time out” to have children and get married, will be very happy to see no more women on boards ever if this self-satisfied twit is the standard.