Ever worked in an office where you find yourself fantasising about the guy or girl sitting opposite you or seated in another department? Office flirtation can be harmless yet it's an issue that causes many of us to sweat. If you start an office romance, do you come clean and tell your colleagues and bosses straightaway?
Is there a relationship policy forbidding you to strike up relations in the work environment but you don't think you can stop yourself. And of course not ignoring the stereotypical office affair where colleagues end up seducing or being seduced by a married partner. Relationship expert Brenda Della Casa is on hand.
We've been told it's a no-no and some companies forbid it to the point of placing it in the employee handbook but let's face it, work is a breeding ground for flirtation and sexual tension.Most men and women spend a great deal of time in their offices, most of their days, actually and relationships will be formed. Add business trips, corporate events, personal projections and alcohol to the mix and you've got yourself a heated little fishbowl.
It's human nature to find another person appealing and no set of rules can snuff sexual attraction. If you find yourself in a situation where you can't say no to the hottie down the hall, it's best to keep things mum until you are sure the relationship is something worth putting your reputation and possibly your job on the line for.
There are reasons employers frown on romance in the office that far extend a concern about favouritism. Romance is dramatic and doesn't always lead to fairytale endings.
Keeping silent protects both parties in the sense that if it doesn't work out (and there is a very good chance it won't as many flirtations and affairs do not lead to marriage or a commitment) the extent of your discomfort will be working in an office with someone who knows what you look like naked where there is a risk they may even share your secrets with others so you don't want to be walking around scarlet faced.
If you both want more than a one-off saucy moment in the, errrr, cubical, keep your relationship outside of work and continue to treat one another fairly and in an appropriate manner during office hours. That means no private lunch meetings with the blinds closed. Don't fill colleagues in on the play-by-plays or vent off during your fights.If it is against company rules, one of you might need to ask for a transfer or start looking for a new job. Your boss might come to your wedding but it's likely he or she is not going to make an exception for you when it comes to breaking company rules.
Do you think relationships in the office are acceptable or not? What's your experience?
Top 10 Ways To Get The Office Babe from AskMen.com
1. Give her a sneak preview
2. Stand out
3. Show respect for others and pay attention to everyone
4. Use your strengths
5. Don't get drunk and flirt with other colleagues
6. Have a life outside of work
7. Let her overhear your conversation with your lady friends
8. Bump into one another as you leave
9. Stand out from the masses
10. Compliment other women
For further information:
Legal implications of office romances
Should employers encourage office relationships?
BLOGATHON CHALLENGE QUESTIONS
1. How common do you think it is that your colleagues are having affairs in the office? Why do you think it's so common?
2. Have you met someone through work (are your colleagues aware or do you think they would judge you?
3. Should office relationships be allowed?
Write your comment and if you wish, please state your profession and nationality, then press publish.
Comments (7)
Posted by Julie | June 28, 2007 3:18 PM
All good advice. My personal experience has been that it's not a good idea to date in the workplace unless it could be a long-term relationship.
Posted on June 28, 2007 15:18
Posted by Anon | September 24, 2007 10:16 AM
I think it's far more likely that you get flirtations rather than full on affairs in the workplace. It's probably inevitable that there will be slight frissons given how much time you spend with your colleagues. In larger organisations I have worked there have been lots of inter- organisational romances, but I've found that in smaller places it's not such a good idea unless it could be long term as apart from anything, gossip in smaller offices is incredible. I spent months getting into trouble for making tea with a colleague because we giggled too much whilst boiling the kettle- people thought we were having a full on affair and it actually affected my worklife as people thought that whenever I wasn't at my desk I was with him. If I so much as looked at him I was in trouble! It was ridiculous.
Posted on September 24, 2007 10:16
Posted by Vix | September 24, 2007 1:05 PM
I think office flirtations are vital, (for single people), sometimes if you like someone at work thats the main reason you go in, if you weren't allowed to flirt I reckon more people would pull sickies.
I would also agree not to get in a relationship with someone you work with unless you really believe its going to be serious. It can cause all manner of chaos otherwise, I think it would be very sad if it became the norm for employers to ban office relationships though as thats probably the place you are most likely to meet somone in my opinion. I do think you have to think carefully before you get involved though.
Posted on September 24, 2007 13:05
Posted by AHRE | September 24, 2007 5:45 PM
From a Human Resources standpoint, I can't stand office romance. It's messy, it affects productivity, it leads to all kinds of favoritism (and even more accusations of it), and is a general headache for HR.
That being said, who wants to come work for a company that won't let them flirt with their coworkers? You think you're going to attract a bunch of high performing young stars by telling them, "Yes, you'll spend all day working with intelligent, often attractive young people like yourself. You'll have plenty of interaction both at work at at work sponsored activities. But you can't flirt with them, date them, or very well even look at them."
Bah. Even the Angry HR Exec sees that this is a bigger problem than the romances. Look, we're never going to have a neat and tidy job. We're in HR because we love working with people. Let them have their fun.
Posted on September 24, 2007 17:45
Posted by Reasonable Robinson | September 24, 2007 6:21 PM
Bad because office relationships creates 'elite' lines of communication and toe curling embarassments. Should be avoided at all costs. I know I got married to a girl at work, she ran off with a bloke I employed, and I met my new girlfriend at work so resigned to enjoy relationship:) (Aah OK I resigned to play hard to get and she followed )
Posted on September 24, 2007 18:21
Posted by Amanda Dawson | September 25, 2007 2:41 PM
I met my husband at work and we've been happily married for 16 years. It's easy to assume that office relationships are just short-term infatuations but maybe that person you fancy could turn out to be your life-long partner. Don't write off a potential relationship just because it is someone you work with !!
Posted on September 25, 2007 14:41
Posted by Angela | November 19, 2007 10:17 AM
I like to keep my work and personal life totally separate. Dating a guy in my office will feel like I'm taking office work home with me. I once fancied a guy in my office and did not start dating him until we both moved on to other companies.
Posted on November 19, 2007 10:17