The Work Clinic

So, I've been racking my brains all morning to see how the word "follicle" can tie into the workplace.

Over lunch, I asked my fellow RBI bloggers for any follicle suggestions:
Emma White, on behalf of the caterer blog commented that I could write about whether bald workers (individuals without hair follicles on their head for those of you that need reminding) - ok that's lame but I had to fit "follicles" in again - are disadvantaged at interview compared with candidates who have great mops of hair with plenty of follicles.

Now that could sound folliculist (made up word) or even baldest, but I'm really not being prejudiced against working professionals with or without follicles. (How do you think I'm doing on the follicle front? Do I need to keep going or should I stop?)...Let's take a breather before I chomp my way through the tips of my hair follicles perfectly placed at jaw length, phew...

While on my left hand side I have Rob Kotevski from gadget freak. He was delighted to pick out the keyword "barnacle" and fit it into some electronic context (web sub-editor for Electronics Weekly) again go figure - so I'm absolutely amazed how he managed to marry barnacles with electronics. Check this out:

"Gadgets "important as a barnacle on a whale's fin"

Every profession has certain tools of the trade that prove invaluable for the task at hand.

Writing for The Interpreter, John Kohl gives a rundown of the gadgets that tour guides cannot live without. He even goes as far to say that 'the quality of the interpretation could be as important as a barnacle on a whale’s hind fin'."

I mean, come on, how random can you get..? So back to follicles. Perhaps we could take the scenario of male colleagues in a shower room at the office. "Check those back follicles out dudes - I wish the hair follicles on my back could be as hairy as Jonno's over there." Though, on the other side of the office, all the females are gossiping by the water cooler gasping: "Oh my goodness, have you seen the amount of hair follicles on Jonno's back? How can you miss his hairy follicles poking out of his white crisp linen designer shirt - and he think's he's sooooo cool, what a loser!"

So there you have it, I'm neither baldest or folliculist...and I don't even know what I'm whittling on about but I think I managed to type in the word:

Follicle: 10 times including this mention
Follicles: (plural) 11 times including this mention

Not bad going hey...

But before I sign off though, I have to let you into a real gem. Tim Relf, farmlife editor of Farmer's Weekly portfolio was sitting in front of me happily blogging away, when shock, horror, several stricken faces discovered Tim staring at a screen full of scantily-clad females. For your information, there are three female bloggers sitting in the back row and we could all clearly see a series of flickering fleshy images of women popping up on screen in very seductive bras and knickers. Luckily one of us had the courage to ask: "Excuse me Tim, but I just had to ask why you're staring at half-naked women." You will be relieved to know that Tim's keyword was...dun dun daaah..."lingerie". And now, let's see how Tim managed to link lingerie with farming...

"Film firm snaps up story of farming's 'lingerie woman'

Farming families are an inventive lot and you hear of them starting some imaginative new businesses.

The most enigmatically named one of them all, though, has got to be Ample Bosom.

This firm was launched by farmer's wife Sally Robinson, selling bras and designer lingerie for the larger lady from converted buildings on the farm in North Yorks.

Now Harbour Pictures - who were behind the hit film Calendar Girls - has bought the rights to tell her tale.

I'll be interested to see who plays the part of Sally. Dawn French, maybe?"

As kindly pointed out by the head of blogging development (yes, that's a real job title) for Reed Business Information, I really should have linked into Hair Dressers Journal - prime opportunity to talk follicles...

Hairstyles: Bad Hair Days v Fat-And-Ugly Days , Kate Woods, web community editor, asks of herself:

Which do I hate more: fat-and-ugly days or bad hair days?

So, Kate, do you have to reference the word follicle at any point when referring to hair? I mean, if you can't use the word follicle, then there's no hope for any of us!