'Furious, dude? I was almost on fire with anger! I won't say what I wanted to do, but in the old days I would have gone in with the sharp sword!"
You might be surprised to hear that the voice behind the rant belongs to none other than Mike Fisher, ‘anger management expert’ and director of the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM). And what prompted this outburst? The suspicion that his website had been plagiarised by one Sam Tevfik – another anger management expert and the man behind the rival British Institute of Anger Management (BIAM). You couldn’t make it up.
But we’ve all experienced it – that moment when we just snap, when we see red. Very few of us are immune to it, but a tantrum that might be little more than an unpleasant interlude at home can cause real problems in the workplace. So how best to avoid turning green and Hulk-like in front of colleagues? Read on for some suggestions ….
Distance yourself
1. Remove yourself from whatever or whoever has made your blood boil. I once spent half an hour in a stairwell, clutching a cooling cup of coffee and glowering out the window. It did the trick, though, and on returning to my desk, I was able to write and send a calm and measured response to the offending email.
2. Take a hike. Get outside and do a few laps of the local park or square. You’ll return with a clearer head and a better perspective on the situation.
3. Put the phone down – but politely. Call then back when the moment’s passed and you’ve had a chance to think of your response.
4. Put it off. Tell the offending colleague that you’ll speak to them later. Unless you’re performing open heart surgery, there is absolutely no reason not to postpone the discussion until things have settled down.
Retrain yourself
1. Don’t rise to the bait. As Ross O’Carroll Kelly says ‘Build a bridge and get over it’ ….
2. Keep a professional distance. Remember that reactions that would be fine with family or close friends may not be appropriate in the workplace
3. Remember that you have to face this person tomorrow. And the morning after that, and the one after that ….
4. Ask yourself: ‘Is it really worth getting this upset over a job?’
