It's hot and sticky, and the age-old 'what to wear to work' conundrum is once more with us - with our menfolk whittering on about having to wear shirts and ties while their female colleagues trip prettily into the office in floral skirts and Birkenstocks.
But spare a thought for the denizens of Beijing. As Olympic fever builds, they have been issued with a list of instructions aimed at smartening them up before the TV crews of the world descend on the city.
Instructions include:
Don't
- Wear pyjamas in public
- Wear white socks with black shoes
- Wear high collars if you have a short neck
- Wear (this one is for women only ...) leather skirts, transparent garments, clashing colours or more than three colour groups at once
Do
- Shave daily
- Stand with your feet planted slightly apart, in the shape of a V
- Comb your hair appropriately for your age, occupation and situation
- If you have thick ankles, cover them up with dark tights
- Match your skirt length to your age - young girls can wear skirts three - to six centimetres above the knee
The authorities are leaving nothing to chance and have instructed the locals to eat less garlic and refrain from fighting over who pays the bill. As far as we know, their instructions do not extend to the hoardes of Union Jack shorts and string vest wearing sports fan heading east.
